How common is pregnancy loss?

Miscarriage is estimated to take place in one of four recognized pregnancies. Whether you experienced a loss early in your pregnancy or later, your grief may feel unending and overwhelming.  It's important that you seek help.

When is the loss of a pregnancy considered a miscarriage and when is it a still birth? 

A miscarriage occurs in 10% to 20% of women up to the 20th week. A still birth occurs in 1% and occurs after the 20th week.  The statistics are not as important (other than to assure you that you're not alone in what you have experienced) as is the grief that is a potential for every woman, no matter what stage of the pregnancy.

I don't think anyone understands. I want to talk about it, but I don't, if that makes sense?

Yes.  It does make sense and is entirely expected following such a depth of loss. To lay bare your feelings only to hear that you must move past it and "try again", can be depressing and leave you loneliner than prior to talking at all.  That's why it's very important to process your feelings with a therapist who understands and has expertise in this area.

I feel so much like something is "unfinished". Of course, I know that's true in a very real sense, but what is this feeling?

The feeling that you are describing is shared by many women and couples.  The lack of closure of a pregnancy that has not resulted in birth is very real and can extend the grief process. Part of the reason is as you say and adding to that is our cultural norm that when someone passes, we have rituals in place in which we say goodbye. Culturally this is not the case for many or even approached. 

What can I do about it?

We can discuss ways in which you are able to speak to this loss and ways, ritually, that you can say goodbye.

What's next for me?  For us as a couple?

This is a very common question for those who have suffered the loss of a pregnancy. For many women, there is an undercurrent of inadequacy and questioning of why this happened. It's our goal during our work together to address the "what's next" aspect by reframing the umbrella thoughts that surround pregnancy loss such as the fear of never becoming parents and that the loss was somehow your fault.  It wasn't.

Seeking help is critical and empowering for your recovery and healing. We are experts in the treatment of pregnancy loss and are here for you on this journey.

HOW TO GET STARTED

Please give us a call today at (217) 345-4642 or contact us via the form below so that see how we can best be of help.  We look forward to hearing from you.